We just recently got HRH back from a ten day absence while she traveled to P.E.I. with her father to, I dunno, eat lobster and shop I guess. Whatever, she had a very nice time. Now you’d think here that I might have initially been somewhat ecstatic to be released for a 10 day child free sabbatical from “Dad Duty”, and I was, let’s make no bones about it. Christmas definitely came early this year.
The first few days were pretty nice I won’t lie. Life was footloose and fancy free again. The sun shone warmer; the stars twinkled brighter; I slept better; worked out better; shit, even the food tasted a little better, you get the jist. Actually, now that I think about it, the last days after those first few days without her were pretty nice too. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, anyway, when she finally got home it was nice to have her back. That means, of course, that for the past 3 days or so we’ve literally been making up for lost time conversation-wise because, you know, 10 days is a lot of lost jibber-jabber time. Seriously, I think this child’s mouth runs off a generator. Here are just a few of my favorite conversational highlights from the past 48 hours:
HRH: “What do stickers do?“
Me: (after a long blank stare) “They stick to stuff.”
HRH: “What do you think this sub tastes like?”
Me: “A bun with stuff on it.”
HRH: “Why does it say here that this guy plays a fish?” (while looking at one of the CD bootlegs in my car)
Me: “That’s b-a-s-s. It’s an instrument. Not a fish.”
Heavy, heavy stuff. I know. And it never stops. She’s a machine gun of questions and it’s often exhausting. Believe me.
So in an attempt to keep her focused on a single discussion point, I’ve been asking her about what it is that she wants to be when she grows up. She has all the same dreams and aspirations as any other nine-year-old girl, I’m sure, but then there emerges this whole ‘why‘ thing. I’ve since learned that it’s more the knowing where her over-driving rationalities come from that intrigues me. I wanted to be a fireman or a train engineer. Other people want to be Hollywood reality stars or a celebrity veterinarian, or something. Point is, it’s the actual why a person wants to be any particular occupation that really sheds serious insight into that person as a real person. Dig? And, well, let’s just say I learned a little something about her today.
Here are the top five so far:
1. A Princess. Well, duh. Who wouldn’t?
2. A dental hygienist. “Because handing things to the dentist wouldn’t be hard. That’s easy!” What else needs to be said? It does sound easy enough.
3. A pilot. “Because they just sit there and don’t do a lot”. I’m definitely beginning to catch a theme here.
4. The spinning advertisement board guy on the corner. “Because dancing for eight hours would be fun! Do you think I could listen to my own music?” Why, yes, yes you can. “If somebody tried to rob me would I be allowed to stab him with my sign?” Oh I’m sure. Totally. “That’s awesome!”
5. The tax man. Why you ask? Because George Harrison makes it sound so damn cool, that’s why! Or perhaps I might have made it sound a little too overly appealing by telling her that it was a guy ‘who gets his money from other people’. “Cool! I wanna do that!“
God help me.