Megalodon, Where Have You Been All My Life?

I can only take so much kids programming.  Sure, HRH  loves it (as any 9-year-old would I expect) and it should be all about her enjoyment really but, still, I need to be able to retain some sanity during our TV cuddle time too.  There has to be some happy medium.  Otherwise, I’m at risk to pulling a ‘Here’s Johnny!’  through the bathroom door one morning after being subjected to too much ‘Jesse’  the night before.

Thankfully, I have found a suitable alternative: Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives.

Shark Week to the rescue!

This particular program is the latest in a series of ‘docufictions’  (or ‘mockumentary‘ if you prefer) that are being aired on the Discovery Channel.  The story, with only short disclaimers at the beginning and ending indicating that it is fictional, revolves around the loss of a pleasure boat and crew off the coast of South Africa and an ensuing investigation that points to an attack by a member of the species Megalodon, a gi-normous prehistoric shark thought to be long extinct.  Its format is that of a documentary that includes accounts of “professionals” in various fields related to Megalodon – but she doesn’t know that.  For all she knows, Megalodon is alive and well and simply laying in wait for her the next time she decides to go swimming.  It’s brilliant.

Sure Wil Wheaton wasn’t too happy about it (click HERE) but, last I heard, poor Wesley Crusher doesn’t also have to entertain a rambunctious 9-year-old day after day.  Besides, who gives a shit what Wil Wheaton thinks anyway?

But, hey, it doesn’t stop with monster sharks either, there are whole series of new docufictions currently being aired too, like ‘Titanoboa: Monster Snake’ (which may, or may not have actually existed), and ‘Mermaids: The Body Found.  What kid wouldn’t be interested in humungous sharks, snakes and shit?  And Mermaids?  Well, that’s just the icing on the cake.

From my perspective, it’s cute to see her so tuned in on pins and needles, totally transfixed on the events unfolding on the television peeking out from the safety of her security blanket.  Of course, truth is always stranger than fiction, so when she goes to Google these things afterwards there are entire websites dedicated to these beasts which then lend themselves to perpetrating the myth.  Sooner or later she’ll eventually realize that what she’s seen on TV isn’t actually true but, in the meantime, it sure beats ‘The Wizards of Waverly Place’.  Isn’t learning fun?

God help me.

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