Double Standards

Double standards: those little unspoken rules that say its okay for one to act a certain way but completely wrong for another.  These standards are imposed on us in so many different ways that, sometimes, we don’t even notice them.  Let me give you an example; whenever I happen to let loose with a burp, by proxy, I am typically frowned at as being a total insensitive pig.  Whenever she does it, it’s completely by accident and she is simply an unsuspecting victim of her own bodily functions and usually follows up with an expression of total embarrassed surprise.  Huh?

Why is that?  After all, a burp is a burp at the end of the day.  It’s just a sudden release of nitrogen and oxygen from the body’s digestive tract (mainly the esophagus and stomach) which exits through the mouth, by then creating one hell of a funny sound to be revered and enjoyed by all.  Am I right?

I suspect this has something to do with the ‘ol ‘men are pigs, and women are delicate flowers’ mentality.  I know lots of men probably find women burping to be a huge turn off.  Not this guy.  I say, have at ‘er ladies!  If I wanted a delicate flower, I’d date a botanist.  But I don’t, I want an equal partner in life; someone who will understand and reciprocate in kind…even the gaseous kind.  So if that means launching the odd unapologetic belch into the atmosphere every now and again, so be it.  Hell, maybe she’ll even raise the bar around here from time to time.  I mean, who couldn’t use a little inspiration every now and again, right?  Maybe, if I’m lucky, she’ll even pull a total ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ reversal on me:


How cool would that be?  Yes, I’d sure be one envious mofo.  Hey, hopefully you all well remember how we respond to burps in our house already, right?  (click HERE).

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