Tripping the Light Fandango

Here’s something to wrap your melon around:  exposure to trace amounts of baby soaps and shampoos, commonly stocked in grocery stores and pharmacies across the county, are now leading newborn babies to test positive for THC, the active ingredient in marijuana.  Well, no shit?  However, before I head out and start chugging bottles of HRH’s ‘No More Tears’  shampoo, maybe I should look into this a bit more.

Yup, it’s true!  A hospital in North Carolina became concerned recently when a high number of its newborns tested positive for marijuana exposure.  When researchers began looking into it, they found the culprit was chemicals found in baby soaps, including those manufactured by Johnson & Johnson, Aveeno and CVS brand products.

Perhaps this explains HRH’s  severe random cases of OCD-ness.  If not kept in check, she’ll still be watching episodes of ‘Yo Gabba Gabba!’ and giggling at stupid stuff like jangling keys when she’s a teenager.  It certainly explains her penchant for maple syrup in her morning Cheerios; not to mention some of her recent artwork.

I give you Exhibit A:

What tha…

I know, right?  Where do you start?  But this isn’t the scary part.

Just the thought of her still living here as a jobless adult in the not-so-distant future is far scarier than the plot line for any horror movie that I can think of.  After all, if anyone deserves to get high and nibble cheese, it’s me!  However, maybe this is a good opportunity.  Maybe this was the open door I was waiting for to gently introduce her to some of the more influential pastimes of my life.  Perhaps we could take a bubble bath together and then listen to some Grateful Dead.  Okay, that would be weird; our life isn’t an outtake from ‘Hair’, true.  Maybe we could slap on some skin lotion instead and watch episodes of ‘Lost’.

Just think of the bonding opportunities!

God help me.

Leave a comment


  1. Jan

     /  July 5, 2012

    OMG! I hate to say this but just how much baby shampoo did your Mom use on YOU????

  2. Jan

     /  July 5, 2012

    You know what? I LOVE THAT PICTURE! It really makes me THINK. Uhhhh…very “creative.” Much more fascinating than uhhh “normal” children do. I really do like it!!!!


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